Adventures in Registering and Shopping

The day after we found out we were having a girl, we decided to go ahead and register at our favorite baby store...Target! Their baby department is awesome.

All of our random trips to Target to browse the baby section paid off. We pretty much had the major things picked out before we got to the store. We brought my parents and Michael's mom with us, grabbed the scanner gun, and off we went! 

We immediately went to the bigger items that we had picked out already - a pack & play, monitors, breast pump, swing, and bath tub. The smaller things took us a lot longer to pick out. Who knew there are so many different types of bottles and pacifiers?? And an endless selection of soft and cuddly pink blankets and receiving cloths???

We conquered each aisle, scanning left and right. And, we went through each aisle again, making sure that we didn't miss anything! We had a really fun time! And, the registry is now ready and complete. 

On Friday, Michael took a well needed day off from work, so we decided to head down to Destin to do some shopping. The day we found out baby is a girl, I did a little shopping for some pink things, but Michael had to go back to work. So, a day in Destin was a great opportunity for us to pick out some special pink items together. We hit the jackpot at Children's Place Outlet and Carter's Outlet. We were able to get some really cute things for pretty cheap, especially since we found a lot on the $2.99 clearance rack! Holla!! 

We eventually headed over to Destin Commons where we discovered an adorable baby boutique called Hugs and Hissyfits. Most things were pretty expensive, but beautiful and one of a kind. They had a great bow/headband/hat selection. I had to refrain from going crazy, but picked out a few special ones. Our little girl will most likely be wearing a bow, headband, or hat at all times. They are so feminine and too cute. She is going to be like a little doll - I can't help but play dress up with her!

There will be many more bows, flowers, headbands, and hats to come. Some of them are so ornate and incredibly beautiful. I have several picked out from a few really cool websites...

While we were at the Commons, horrific dizziness came over me. I felt like I was drunk, almost falling over. We had to leave. I ended up being dehydrated and over-heated. It came on at once, and it was scary. I was on my feet all day, didn't drink enough, and didn't eat regularly enough. Also, they say that mid-pregnancy is when your blood pressure is at its lowest, so dizziness can be "common." Ugh. My heart was racing because I knew something was wrong, but thankfully, nothing was wrong with baby, just me. So, I felt somewhat ill the entire weekend, and even today, I still feel a little "off." I learned my lesson the hard way. I have been drinking A TON of water and making sure I eat every two hours even if I'm not hungry. I was scared for sure. 

I have come across some really cute websites that have beautiful items, specifically really girly items. Some of my favorites are:

etsy.com

itzybitzy.com

poshlittletutus.com

hugsandhissyfits.com
girlscrochetheadbands.com

Are there any neat infant/baby/child product websites that you have come across? Please share in my comment section! I always love hearing from you!

Well, our baby shopping has come to an end for a while. We have some really cute, special items that we were able to pick out together. Now we just wait for our sweet baby to arrive so she can wear and use all of these adorable things!!!

My Growing Belly (Part Two)

In my 16 week appointment, Dr. Sontag told me that I should notice huge changes in my body between weeks 18 and 20. And yes, I have noticed large changes, good changes! I gained about 8 pounds in three weeks, and I have now gained 10 pounds total. Yay!!! I finally look pregnant now to the rest of the world!!! I've been soaking up every time someone, including a lot of strangers, inquires about the pregnancy. And, Baby girl has been very active because she is so busy growing!! I'm feeling her kicks and movements more and more throughout the day, and Michael is just loving feeling her move. He adores her already. 

So, here is part two in the series "My Growing Belly."

16 weeks
May 28

124 pounds, my first two pound of weight gain during this week

17 weeks
June 4

126 pounds

18 weeks
June 11

128 pounds

19 weeks
June 18

132 pounds

I popped! Just in one week, look at the difference from week 18! Incredible!!

20 weeks
June 25

132 pounds

The Half-Way Mark, And It's A....

I am now 20 weeks, which means I am halfway through the pregnancy!!! I can't believe how fast it has gone, and I know that the second half will only go faster. I am soaking up every day of this pregnancy, every moment, every milestone, and every simple thing.

It was Michael's first Father's Day as a father to our baby! I have always viewed him as a father and example to so many. I always said, especially in the thick of our infertility, that he would always be a father to many, even if we would have no children of our own. But this year brought much celebration, different celebration. He has been a father to many, and now he is a father to ours. The sweetest moment of that day was when Isaak ran to me at church and gave me a hug and huge kiss and said "Happy Father's Day!" It brought tears to my eyes. He  ran to Michael and said the same thing. Then he looked at me with those huge blueberry eyes and said "I love ZahZoo!" (Zahzoo is the nickname that he calls me.) No matter what, no matter how many children I may have, that sweet boy will always hold a special place in my heart.

On Monday, we had our big appointment - THE ultrasound. I was so excited to find out the sex, but equally excited to be able to see our baby again and all of the changes. We have not seen our baby since our 8 week ultrasound, so I knew I was in for some awesome things. 

Michael and I went in together to the ultrasound room, where the nurse started with looking at the head and the brain. She worked down, examining the heart, the stomach, the lungs, arms, legs, and then finally asked, "Do you want to know what you are having?" And yes, we definitely did!

We are having a...............

GIRL!!!

"Our Gift From God"

I of course cried a little, (actually a lot), and stared in amazement at the screen as I watched our baby. A little girl. Our little girl. I am blessed beyond measure. 

Michael and I shared sweet moments together as we looked at our beautiful baby girl, and took in every moment. We then were able to get the full view of our baby, that popular profile view. I could see her ears, eyes, nose, chin, beating heart. She kept her little hand up by her face the entire time, showing off each finger. We watched in amazement as she moved her arms and legs. She opened and closed her mouth, telling us a sweet story. 

Michael went back into the waiting room to get my parents and his mom so they could see baby and find out that she was a girl! They were amazed, too. There were tears and excitement as we told them that the baby is a girl, and they stood in awe as they watched her. 

Oh, how I loved every minute of that long ultrasound. I didn't want it to stop. But, we went and saw Dr. Sontag, and he told us that he couldn't be more happy with me and with the baby. Everything looked perfect. I am measuring right on track, and the baby is developing perfectly. I now weigh 132 pounds, with a total weight gain of 10 pounds. I definitely have officially "popped" now, with my belly actually looking pregnant now! I love it.

After we left the hospital, we all went to the Olive Garden for lunch, and celebrated our little girl. 

We headed to do a little shopping, where I had to buy some things to add a little pink in my life. Oh. My. Goodness. Shopping for a baby girl is irresistible. I may be in trouble.... But, I found some things, and controlled myself from going shopping-crazy, because I know pink gifts will be coming!

A newborn outfit - I'm thinking this is the hospital outfit! It is a pink and white striped Ralph Lauren. I love the little white silk bow. And the hat.....!!!

How does this not melt your heart????

Monday was a day I will never forget. It was beautiful, every part of it.....

On Wednesday, I went with my mom and my mom-in-law to pick out some fabric for the baby room. I was definitely successful, and later that evening, we sewed curtains and hung them! I love the way they turned out. Next, we will be making the comforter for the crib...

What a week!! I've prayed and prayed for these moments, and I know so many others have joined us and stood with us in prayer and unyielding support no matter what, as our painful journey through the storm of bringing this baby into our lives unfolded. The support, excitement, and rejoicing from others has encouraged me and lifted me. I know this baby is already loved by our friends and family. Each and every text and phone call that we received when we told our loved ones about our little girl was precious and will always hold a special place in my heart, and their rejoicing with us means more to us than words can ever say. I am so thankful for these precious people in our lives.

I love you all. 

A Thorn In My Flesh

At age 16 I was in a one-car car accident. It seemed pretty minor, and no one was visibly injured. The weeks that followed did bring back pain, and the testing and treatments began. Over a course of two years, I was poked, prodded, sent to this doctor and that specialist, had multiple x-rays, MRI's CT scans, given the latest pain medications, steroid injections, had physical therapy, massage therapy, and chiropractor appointments. Nothing helped. Nothing. My doctors got to the point where there was nothing more that they could do. I had micro tears in my lower lumbar muscles and ligaments that refused to heal.

It has now been ten years since the accident that caused my back injury, and I have seen no improvement, no healing. 

I live in daily pain.

Most people would not guess that I live with this. I hide it really well.

Chronic pain is something that I would wish on no one. It limits what I can and cannot do. It makes me exhausted every day. And it even makes me depressed at times. And the majority of people do not really understand how it impacts day to day life, unless they themselves have experienced chronic pain or illness.

I spent two years of my life on heavy duty drugs, including Vioxx, celebrex, skelaxin, hydrocodone, and  muscle relaxers. I got to a point where I was relying on those drugs to make me feel better, and they physically did make me feel better. They gave me some relief. But, I decided that it was not healthy to be on all of these drugs, and they really were just masking the pain. So I slowly weaned myself off of them, and learned to live with the pain. I now occasionally will take tylenol or aleve when it is really bad. 

I still to this day ask God why a healthy 16 year old had to go through this. I ask Him why I still have to go through this. Isn't ten years enough? 

And I don't know the answer. God has not given me an answer. 

I remember talking to my father about that. I was crying "Why me?" and expressing to him that I just didn't understand why I couldn't life a normal, pain-free life. He could not give an explanation to my whys, but he did remind me of Paul.

In 2 Corinthians 12, we are told that Paul was given a thorn in his flesh. We do not exactly know what that thorn was, but most biblical scholars agree that it was some sort of physical ailment. Paul says that three times, he begged the Lord to take it away. But the Lord did not take it away. 

I have begged the Lord, much more than three times, to take away my back pain. I have begged Him to heal it. I have claimed healing over myself, and others have prayed healing over me. But I have not been healed. I have not received any form of an answer or explanation. God has remained silent. 

How I so long for a normal life. Where I could enjoy simple things that most take for granted, like standing for a while; sitting for a while; running; bowling; horseback riding; lifting children; laundry; cleaning; vacuuming; my list could go on and on... 

And now, as my miracle is growing and thriving, the thorn in my flesh is becoming larger and larger. My pain seems to be worsening. It is hard to find relief. That is one of the major fears that I have had since that car accident - how my body would do during a pregnancy. I am praying that my back would grow strong, and that my pain would lessen as my pregnancy progresses. 

My back pain is the thorn in my flesh.

Someday it may be removed.

Or I may have this pain for the rest of my life. 

And there is no fancy, spiritual reason that I can give as to why. I do not believe that means that I have little faith or that I do not believe that God can heal. I know He can heal. I've seen it with my own eyes - all I have to do is look at my growing belly. Our two year storm with infertility was painful. God seemed silent. As we were in the thick of our treatments, diagnosis, I could not see at all how God was working through it. In my mind, in my life, where was God? In my body, where was God? As I reflect back over those years of heartache, I can see how I've grown, what I've learned, how my hubby and I have been drawn closer together, how I've been drawn closer to God. For the most part, He was silent, allowing me to struggle, to grapple, to cry out. It was painful. But all along, I know He never left. He never stopped loving me.  And now as we rejoice for our miracle child, everything that we went through is still so fresh. I still do not fully understand why we had to go through such heartache to finally be able to carry a child, and why God seemed silent. Perhaps it was so I could grow, so I could come to a place with God like never before, so I could be a testimony to others...

As for my back pain, I find myself in a similar place. But I have to trust God and know that ultimately it is His choice and His plan, and that His ways are higher than mine. I have to believe that! He has the final say in whether He is going to deliver me or not. As my dear friend says, "I believe life can be hard; and not every storm brings immediate sunshine." God, You are God and I am not. Even though it seems like You are silent, I will trust. I have to.

Feel Those Kicks! It's Gonna Be A Soccer Player!

Yes, the above is a quote from our all time favorite movie, Billy Madison.

The first time I felt baby kick was two weeks ago. I was sitting in church. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time, and I had heard that this was very early to feel baby kicks, and I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was actually the baby. But, as the days passed, and those flutters came and went in the same spot, it became clear that it was definitely baby! 

Over the past two weeks, the kicking has gotten more and more frequent, especially as my belly has grown. And oh my, how the belly has grown. I feel much bigger now than I did two weeks ago, like I have definitely gone through a growth spurt! It is so exciting! I cannot at all button up any pants, so the rubber band trick and the use of belly bands have been lifesavers. Maternity pants may be the next step. I'm trying to go as long as I can without them. :) I am still able to wear all of my tops, thank God! 

I am now 18 weeks along. Last night in bed, baby Swift was so active. I could even feel double kicks! I put my hand on my belly to see if the kicks can be felt on the outside, and they definitely can. I waited for another kicking moment, and grabbed Michael's hand and placed it on my belly. He could feel it!!! It was a sweet, precious, exciting moment. 

In ten more days, on Monday the 20th, we will find out the gender! The time is going by fast, and I am anxiously awaiting. I feel like once we know, we will be able to give the baby an identity - he or she! And who knows, we may name the baby soon!  

Blessings! 

Summer Break...I Can Taste It!!

I have one day left of work, and then...SUMMER BREAK!!! I am so ready for a break from work - from the students, from my coworkers, and from the drama. I am most looking forward to time to really enjoy being pregnant, and being able to rest and take it easy. I do have some plans for the summer - Michael's mom is coming to stay with us for a while, and I will be flying up to Wisconsin to spend a week with my family. For the rest of the time, I plan on getting in a lot of pool and beach time, and friends and family time. 

To me, summer also means reading time! I love to read, and I usually am not able to read a whole lot during the school year, because I am so busy. So, I have a stack of books all picked out and ready to read! Here is my summer reading list... (I know it seems like a huge list, but I love to read, and I think I will be able to read all of them. I will probably add even more to the list!)

• Breaking Free by Beth Moore (I am currently reading this one)
• Sun Stand Still: What Happens When You Dare To Ask God For The Impossible by Steven Furtick
• Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell
• One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
• Fitting Room: Putting On The Character of Christ by Kelly Minter
• Sons of Encouragement by Francine Rivers
• Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I am returning to this one, I think it is worth another read)
• Jesus Culture by Banning Liebscher
• Radical by David Platt
• Harry Potter Books 1-7 by J.K. Rowling (this will be my second time reading this - love them!)
• Pregnancy Books (I will continue to read all of them - full of such good info!)

One exciting announcement that I have is that I will be returning to work in the fall, but only for a part time, two day a week position. I am so thankful that the school district has worked it out that I can return and still teach music, but be part time. This will allow me to put my family first, and baby will have top priority. It has always been a dream of mine to stay home with my children, especially during those first early years. I want to look back and have no regrets! This allows me to do just that, but still maintain a relationship with the school district. It will definitely put a dent in our family budget, but we are willing to cut back and sacrifice to make this work. I am so excited to be able to fulfill the "dream job" that I have always wanted and longed for - a mother! The whole thing just makes me smile when I think about it.   :)

Love to you all...

Today, I'm Thankful For...

Knowing that God makes all things new

A cranberry limeade from Sonic

Barbecues and pool parties

The FL heat. Yes, I said the heat. I've survived too many nasty cold winters to complain about the heat

A coffee date with a dear friend

A loving glance and wink from my husband

A pedicure where the best part was conversation, advice, and wisdom from a godly best friend. I am blessed by her and so thankful.

A flutter that I think might be baby moving

An encouraging and supportive conversation with my boss, which ended in her telling me "I love you."

A friend asking how the pregnancy is going

Blogs that encourage, inspire, and remind me that I am only human and we all really have the same struggles

A beautiful card in the mail - beautiful because of what was hand written inside

My relationship with my parents

Walking around all afternoon with a sweet two year old's hand slipped in mine, and how that makes my heart soar every time.

A smile from a friend. No words needed or had to be spoken

My clothes getting tighter and tighter

Someone asking me how I was, and really interested in how I really, truly am doing

A song sung or played at the perfect time

An email full of a dear friend's heart

Plane tickets to see my family who are so far away

Prayer

The last week of school

Being reminded that the best is yet to come

Snuggling by the pool in our towels

That still, small voice that sometimes is a gentle whisper or a great shout

What are you thankful for today?

My Growing Belly

I finally feel like the baby is starting to actually show, instead of just being bloated. Earlier this week, Dr. S told us that I should notice major growing changes in the next 2-4 weeks. I am so excited! I'm ready to look like I am pregnant!!! It's still hard for people to to tell just by looking at me, especially when I wear my normal jeans and tops. But when I wear dresses or sweatpants, I definitely can tell! So, here are the latest photos of my growing belly - I think they are just beautiful because they are showing my growing miracle!

13 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

Michael and I had dinner last week in Mobile, so we decided to leave early and do a little exploring. I have never been to Fairhope, Daphne, or Spanish Fort, so we traveled there. I absolutely loved Fairhope - it is a hidden jewel that doesn't seem to be that well known. I loved the quaint downtown area, but most of all, I loved the Municipal Park. It lies right on the bay, and also has some beautiful ponds with geese and ducks and turtles. It was gorgeous. So, we seized the opportunity for some photos!

My little bump!

Little bump is peeking out!

I love you already, little one! 

And Daddy loves you so much too! He already talks to you a lot. 

Much love to you all...

16 Weeks

Today we had our 16 week prenatal visit, and everything was great! I weighed in at 124, which means I have a total weight gain of 2 pounds to date. We once again heard the most beautiful, most amazing sound in the world - our baby's heartbeat. It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. It was strong, measuring in the 150s BPM. And, I was delighted because the nurse that we had let us listen a lot longer this time. Hubby even recorded it on his phone! Dr. Sontag measured my uterus, and he said everything, all the measurements, my weight, and other tests look perfect. We were offered some other testing which could reveal any genetic disorders, such as downs or trisomy, but we declined. It wouldn't change anything for us. It is still our baby. But, we are believing and claiming a perfect, healthy baby!

I thought we were going to go back in in four weeks, but we will actually have our next prenatal visit in three weeks, on Monday, June 20. This is the big one, where the anatomy scan will be done, which means a long ultrasound with lots of pictures - hooray!!! And, we have decided that we will definitely find out the gender! We've had so many people ask what we think or what we hope we are having. We aren't "hoping" for a certain gender - we just want a healthy baby. We've waited so long for our miracle, that it does not matter one bit what our baby is. God knew our baby before it was even formed; He has great plans for our baby, and He knows what we are meant to have. Many have also asked if I have a "feeling" one way or the other, but honestly, I do not have any "feelings." It is going to be so much fun to find out!!!

Check back soon, I will be posting the latest and greatest growing belly photos!

We love you all, and thank you so much for continuing to pray for us and our little miracle. 

A Continual Work

I'm a work in progress. I will always be. Just when I think "Okay, God, I have this figured out and I'm working on it," something else that needs attention becomes extremely evident. And I am okay with that. God continually works in our lives, pruning away the dead branches, growing us into climbing vines. Over the past two years, it feels as if God has been emptying me out, tearing out what I thought I knew about Him, and replacing it with His truth, and what He wants for me. And God is still doing it. I feel as if I am on the threshing floor. As I read back over my blog, I can see how God has been working and teaching, and how I had to come to the end of myself, and truly know what it means to "give it to Him," to pray, read, study. And I am a work in progress. I will never stop learning about surrender, the daily battles that I face will not suddenly come to an end. I still grapple, battle, struggle with my identity, my purpose, His purpose, what this all means. But, through constant study, prayer, and sowing into a true relationship with Him, I am given the ability to make it through, to see God's hand in my life, and to "fight the good fight."

I think some people have the impression that since God gave us our miracle, everything is peachy. That somehow, life is perfect now that God has given us the desires of our heart. I believe that so many times we have misguided thinking that says that if we are given _____, life will be complete and perfect. "If God would only bless us with _____ , then ______ ." Then we would spend our lives chasing after the next thing that we desire, thinking that it will fix everything, fix all of our issues. Only God can fix everything and fill that hole. (I touched on this in a previous post not too long ago.) But I'm here to tell you that God is still doing a major work, which is at times and most days, painful. Don't get me wrong and think that I am not thankful, rejoicing, and in awe of our miracle every day! Every day, throughout the day, my heart is singing His praise. But, no matter what you are given in this life, no matter the blessings that you receive, God will still be working, pruning and trimming. The life of the Christ-follower is filled with mountains and valleys, and just when you've made it to the top of your mountain and can breathe in the fresh air, guess what you see in front of you? Another mountain to climb... But that is where God works. He works in our valleys, He works in our mountains. The blessings that we receive show us God's faithfulness and His glory, and we are to remember those blessings in the good, and especially trying times, so we are a testament to others and to ourselves.

I am still in awe of our miracle. I have not lost that, I never will. I will never forget what we've been through, what we're going through. But I know that God is still working, molding me on the threshing floor. He has brought front and center some incredible insecurities that I have. Satan knows these insecurities, and he has been going on that attack, especially more intensely since God blessed us with our miracle. So I feel like I am dealing with much, sorting through things and seeking Him as things are brought to light. I'm not sure what all this will look like in the end and what changes I will need to make, but I know there will be decisions and changes. He is doing a work, a shifting, a sifting.

I will not run. I will not waiver. I will pray. I will stand firm in Christ - even when these times and seasons and changes are most difficult. 

I will leave you with Philippians 1:6. "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." The good work is usually, actually, more like always, paved with heartache and pain, and it is only at the completion will we truly see God's ultimate redemptive plan. Notice that it doesn't say "will carry it on to completion until tomorrow. Or until one year. Or five years. Or until you've given up, or given in, or been through my fair share." It says until the day of Christ Jesus.  The hope lies in "will carry it on to completion," not maybe, perhaps, or probably, but will. Everything will be redeemed. Everything will be restored.