Jumping In To My Calling

I've been blogging a lot lately about my calling, my purpose, etc. It seemed that as the business of everyday life, "doing church," and serving faded, I felt like my purpose faded as well - as if my purpose was determined by what I was doing.

I am struggling in this transition to mommyhood as well. Hear me out - I LOVE being a mommy, I spent days and days on my knees praying to be a mommy. I have just been struggling in my identity and calling as a mother, and what that truly looks like, and who God says I am. 

But I must tell you that as I've stepped into this, walking away from my job, walking away from serving just to serve, and stepping into being a mommy, it has been not the smoothest of transitions. It is taking time for me to come to a place of confidence in who I am, especially as a mommy. 

I am so thankful for the community of mothers that I have surrounded myself with, who know what I am going through, who certainly will not judge me, who will not look down on me because of my questions, frustrations, mistakes, emotions, and lack of perfect hair and makeup. I am thankful that they pray for me, give counsel, and encourage. I am so thankful for the incredible example of my mother, her advice, love and prayers. I am so thankful for my husband, who supports, guides, understands, and does not expect perfection. 

I've received a lot of encouragement from my family and my friends, through texts, Scripture, phone calls, lunch conversations, and hand written letters. And one phrase, one phrase, spoke so much to me.

Evelyn equals purpose. 

Much more was written, but I want to keep that private between me and her. Just that one phrase has changed my days and has given me renewed strength. To know that God trusts me that much and loves me that much to place a little life in my hands, that I get the privilege to shape, mold, and be a mommy to. She is my purpose. My husband is my purpose. My home is my purpose. Jesus is my purpose. 

So here's to fully jumping in to my calling, my purpose. It is not always going to be easy. There will be days of joy, tired days, sad days, fun days, and frustrating days. 

But it is mine - my calling, my purpose. And I will embrace it, even when I question and doubt it. 

10 Things

About Evelyn...

1. I've got an extremely mobile child! She's crawling everywhere, and is pretty good at it. So now my days revolve around following her around the house, making sure she doesn't get into things she shouldn't. Busy doesn't even begin to describe it!

2. The other day, I painted her toes for the first time - we were in a matching red. I love it. Someday we will get pedicures together.

3. This past week, we started mommy-baby swimming lessons. She's been doing really great, except when we first get into the water. She cries a little because it's cold! But she's been kicking, doing the back float, "jumping" in from the side of the pool, splashing, and even dunks under water! It's been so much fun to get out of the house and into a pool, especially in this weather.

4. She LOVES it when I get the laundry out of the dryer and into the basket to fold. She likes to play with the basket, pull clothes out, or unfold one I just folded. She's my little laundry helper, in training to take over some day! 

5. Because we are going to be road-tripping a couple times this summer, we decided to get her the next size up car seat. We went with a Britax in "cowmooflauge" print, and she seems much more comfortable in it. It's so much more roomy!

6. We seem to be getting the "next" size up in things or putting away things that she no longer needs - like her boppy, swing, newborn lounger, etc. It's kind of bittersweet. Sad, because she's not my little newborn anymore, but exciting because every new stage has been so much fun!

7. My child loves bath time. She even crawls to the bathroom at nighttime, anticipating a bath (she is a creature of habit!). She squeals as soon as she sees the water in the tub, and could play in there for hours!

8. My girl is getting so big - 8 months old now (party planning is in full swing). Getting older means eating more and more solids. She is still nursing really well, even with the teeth (a few flicks on the cheek took care of any biting), and she loves to eat all sorts of solid foods. 

9. One word - talkative! Non-stop, all the time, talking our ears off. Her choice words are "ya-ya" or "ba-ba" and she loves to yell and squeal too. Just wait until she starts using real words, then she is really going to be a chatterbox! I was the same way - I was the student that the teacher had to constantly move because I loved talking during class.

10. She is genuinely one of the happiest babies. Full of smiles and giggles, and loves to flash her sweet, drooly smile to everyone. She certainly lives up to the meaning of her name - she is full of life!