And I don't like it.
Keep in mind that I only work two days a week.
The first morning that I worked and dropped her off at Grammie and Grampie's was horrible. I cried, more like sobbed, the entire way to work.
It has been good for me in a sense, that I am able to get out of the house.
But I really don't like it.
I have a new and huge appreciation for mommies who do it full time. It is hard enough for me doing two days a week, I can't imagine doing it five days a week. So working-full-time-mommy, I salute you and have a whole new respect for you.
Maybe when she's older it will be easier to leave her, but for now, it is very difficult.
I know my calling is to be a stay at home mommy (at least during these early years), so I am going to do everything in my power to make that happen.
It's just really hard when I am with all of these other children all day, when I know I could be at home with mine.
And the pumping, cleaning bottles, packing her things, it's just a lot of hassle for a teeny tiny paycheck.
I'm going to finish out the rest of the school year, and I'm going to finish strong. God has me here for a reason, and I need to keep reminding myself of that. But come fall...
I just don't want to miss a single moment with my sweet Evelyn. I want to have no regrets as she grows, and as our future children join our family.
I really just want to follow God's plan, because He ultimately knows what's best and will lead us in the decision that is right for us.
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