And my answer is, without a doubt, yes.
I think some people ask that because of a few reasons:
- they're wondering if I've been scared off from having more due to the work and sheer exhaustion from the last 12 months.
- they think everyone should "be fruitful and multiply" as much as possible, as often as possible
- they're wondering if I still have fertility issues, and if that scares me
- they're just being nosey
No, I was not scared off - it has been a lot of work, but the best work ever.
Yes, I agree with being fruitful and multiplying, in the way that God is leading me.
Yes, infertility scares me. If I think about it too much, I feel like I can't breathe.
And, it's okay to be nosey, I am too. Except I don't like it when people I don't even know think it's okay to ask such personal questions!
Michael and I have both said, a lot lately, that we would love it if I were pregnant right now. It is our desire to have more children! I play out time scenarios in my head - like, if I got pregnant now, our children would be 22 months apart, or, if I get pregnant in 2 months, they will be two years apart... If it were my plans, my hands, I'd be pregnant now...but I cannot keep doing that to myself and my family. I am daily releasing it, asking God to hold it in His hands...Surrender...
I am not sure what is happening with my body and cycle right now. I'm still breastfeeding, so my hormones are crazy, and I have not had a patterned cycle that even hints at ovulation.
I could walk right back in to that fertility clinic, and I'm sure they could get me on more "treatment" plans that would turn me into a crazy woman once again...and my flesh says "do it."
But my soul, my spirit, both say no. I just can't.
Right now, where I am at today.
I have a peace, a solid feeling, a confirmation, to just pray.
Trust God.
And I am asking you to pray. Pray for my body, to do what it was made to do. Pray for my emotions, for my spirit, for my husband. Pray for my daughter - thank God for the blessing and miracle that she is, and pray that we soak up and enjoy this time as an "only child." Pray that the Lord gives us another child. Stand in the gap for me when I doubt. Lift my hands when I cannot lift them on my own. Claim healing, claim His promises over me.
Michael and I have both said, a lot lately, that we would love it if I were pregnant right now. It is our desire to have more children! I play out time scenarios in my head - like, if I got pregnant now, our children would be 22 months apart, or, if I get pregnant in 2 months, they will be two years apart... If it were my plans, my hands, I'd be pregnant now...but I cannot keep doing that to myself and my family. I am daily releasing it, asking God to hold it in His hands...Surrender...
I am not sure what is happening with my body and cycle right now. I'm still breastfeeding, so my hormones are crazy, and I have not had a patterned cycle that even hints at ovulation.
I could walk right back in to that fertility clinic, and I'm sure they could get me on more "treatment" plans that would turn me into a crazy woman once again...and my flesh says "do it."
But my soul, my spirit, both say no. I just can't.
Right now, where I am at today.
I have a peace, a solid feeling, a confirmation, to just pray.
Trust God.
And I am asking you to pray. Pray for my body, to do what it was made to do. Pray for my emotions, for my spirit, for my husband. Pray for my daughter - thank God for the blessing and miracle that she is, and pray that we soak up and enjoy this time as an "only child." Pray that the Lord gives us another child. Stand in the gap for me when I doubt. Lift my hands when I cannot lift them on my own. Claim healing, claim His promises over me.
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