I took off work and Michael left work and met me there. Sitting in the waiting room was excruciating. My heart was racing and my mind was going a million miles a minute. God knew that I needed to hear that people were praying for us, because I received two prayerful texts as I was sitting there. I also logged into my blogger account to see new posts, and one of them just happened to be Psalm 91. Exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. Then, my name was FINALLY called!!!
We went into the RE's office where he began to go over all of the results from the testing we had done. He started with the good - my ultrasounds looked great, my ovaries were producing great follicles and I had many eggs; Michael's SDFA came back normal; and Michael's second sperm analysis showed improvement! The analysis showed that there was a good count and the shape was good. The motility improved from 28% to 32%. Still lower than "normal" (50%), but Dr. R assured us that it won't be an issue with the treatment options that we have. And, my HSG went well and cleared out blockage (if any) from my tubes. As for the bad...my blood results showed that my hormones are still flat-lined, that there is no cycle to them whatsoever. The RE speculated that this was probably caused by my pituitary gland not sending the signals that it should. This result is no ovulation. Sadly, there is no treatment to correct this.
So our diagnosis is: anovulatory infertility and mild male factor infertility.
Our new treatment plan: Scratch the clomid, it obviously hasn't worked. Take progesterone to induce a period, then begin a new fertility drug, femara. Do several ultrasounds to monitor ovulation progress. Do hCG injection(s). Do a lot of baby making. Repeat if no BFP, but add IUI.
It's interesting, I kind of had a feeling that a form of assisted reproductive technology (ART) would be our best chance for pregnancy. And our RE recommended IUI. Once again, I have been researching that like crazy. We were given the choice to go on the new drugs and then do IUI a month later, or do IUI immediately. When we were in the RE's office, we decided to try the drugs first and then IUI, but I am starting to question that. Here's why: the month of new treatment will be expensive because we have exited out of diagnostic and into fertility treatments. An IUI would only add $350. And when doing an IUI, you still have to go on all of those new drugs. So, in my mind, I am thinking, "why not do the IUI right away instead of waiting a cycle while I am on the drugs? I have to take the drugs with or without an IUI." Our RE said it was our choice, but that IUI is the best chance for us to get pregnant. So, I am trying to decide what to do. I have a week or so to decide. I am seeking God in all of this, I know He will make the decision clear for us.
God gave us the go-ahead to do the testing and procedures, and I am so glad we did. Infertility is a tricky thing to diagnose, and I found out that seeking testing and treatment will increase our success rate better than if we were to do nothing. I discovered along the way that our OB/GYN cannot really help infertility cases- they only know and can do so much. One of our best decisions was to see a RE. (We set aside two months to pray before we made the decision to meet with the RE. We wanted to make sure that this decision was directed by God.) After trying for over a year and getting no period, I knew something was wrong and that we would need the proper help. Of course, I hopped online and researched like crazy and pretty much had my self diagnosed. That is one of the dangers of online researching - you find all of this information that is usually all negative and I had diagnosed myself as infertile and that I may never get pregnant. The several failed clomid treatments also added to my discouragement. Michael's sperm analysis also pointed towards doom and gloom, but after seeing my RE, I soon found out that having a 50% motility rate cannot be considered the "normal." Every man is different, and as the RE explained to me, there are several millions of sperm and if you have 20% motility rate, that still means that you have thousands upon thousands of good swimmers, and it only takes one! That changed my perspective a little bit. And, he also told us that the majority of men do not have a 50% motility rate, that it cannot be considered normal. Although the testing did show that I do have an infertility diagnosis, the testing showed what the best treatment for us would be. None of the above is meant to diminish what Michael and I have been going through. Negative results month after month and an infertility diagnosis has been exhausting and depressing. But through all of the testing and consultations, I guess I have been given a new glimmer of hope - that our case is not hopeless. I am excited, scared, and nervous to try the new treatments.
My emotions are going crazy, as they have been. Sometimes I think "This is it! This is going to work!" and other times I doubt it completely. I just don't want to get too hopeful and then be sorely disappointed. I'm still riding that roller coaster.
I am claiming God as my healer, and that He is the only one who can cause a pregnancy for us. I believe He has provided the right doctors for us and that He will be working through our treatment of drugs and IUI. To Him alone be the glory.
And yes, for now I am not coming out of the closet about our infertility. So, I am an "in-the-closet infertile." Michael and I have not felt led yet to share this publicly. But who knows? That day may be coming sooner than later...
So our diagnosis is: anovulatory infertility and mild male factor infertility.
Our new treatment plan: Scratch the clomid, it obviously hasn't worked. Take progesterone to induce a period, then begin a new fertility drug, femara. Do several ultrasounds to monitor ovulation progress. Do hCG injection(s). Do a lot of baby making. Repeat if no BFP, but add IUI.
It's interesting, I kind of had a feeling that a form of assisted reproductive technology (ART) would be our best chance for pregnancy. And our RE recommended IUI. Once again, I have been researching that like crazy. We were given the choice to go on the new drugs and then do IUI a month later, or do IUI immediately. When we were in the RE's office, we decided to try the drugs first and then IUI, but I am starting to question that. Here's why: the month of new treatment will be expensive because we have exited out of diagnostic and into fertility treatments. An IUI would only add $350. And when doing an IUI, you still have to go on all of those new drugs. So, in my mind, I am thinking, "why not do the IUI right away instead of waiting a cycle while I am on the drugs? I have to take the drugs with or without an IUI." Our RE said it was our choice, but that IUI is the best chance for us to get pregnant. So, I am trying to decide what to do. I have a week or so to decide. I am seeking God in all of this, I know He will make the decision clear for us.
God gave us the go-ahead to do the testing and procedures, and I am so glad we did. Infertility is a tricky thing to diagnose, and I found out that seeking testing and treatment will increase our success rate better than if we were to do nothing. I discovered along the way that our OB/GYN cannot really help infertility cases- they only know and can do so much. One of our best decisions was to see a RE. (We set aside two months to pray before we made the decision to meet with the RE. We wanted to make sure that this decision was directed by God.) After trying for over a year and getting no period, I knew something was wrong and that we would need the proper help. Of course, I hopped online and researched like crazy and pretty much had my self diagnosed. That is one of the dangers of online researching - you find all of this information that is usually all negative and I had diagnosed myself as infertile and that I may never get pregnant. The several failed clomid treatments also added to my discouragement. Michael's sperm analysis also pointed towards doom and gloom, but after seeing my RE, I soon found out that having a 50% motility rate cannot be considered the "normal." Every man is different, and as the RE explained to me, there are several millions of sperm and if you have 20% motility rate, that still means that you have thousands upon thousands of good swimmers, and it only takes one! That changed my perspective a little bit. And, he also told us that the majority of men do not have a 50% motility rate, that it cannot be considered normal. Although the testing did show that I do have an infertility diagnosis, the testing showed what the best treatment for us would be. None of the above is meant to diminish what Michael and I have been going through. Negative results month after month and an infertility diagnosis has been exhausting and depressing. But through all of the testing and consultations, I guess I have been given a new glimmer of hope - that our case is not hopeless. I am excited, scared, and nervous to try the new treatments.
My emotions are going crazy, as they have been. Sometimes I think "This is it! This is going to work!" and other times I doubt it completely. I just don't want to get too hopeful and then be sorely disappointed. I'm still riding that roller coaster.
I am claiming God as my healer, and that He is the only one who can cause a pregnancy for us. I believe He has provided the right doctors for us and that He will be working through our treatment of drugs and IUI. To Him alone be the glory.
And yes, for now I am not coming out of the closet about our infertility. So, I am an "in-the-closet infertile." Michael and I have not felt led yet to share this publicly. But who knows? That day may be coming sooner than later...
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