Top 10 of 2010

Like previous years, 2010 was busy and filled with ups and downs. I could probably make a list of one hundred defining moments, but I put together a list of ten instead. Some seem huge and important, while others seem not so important. But, it is a small glimpse into what happened in 2010. Enjoy!


10. First, Tara got one. Then Christy, then Jessica. And I finally gave in and got one too. What item am I talking about? The Tassimo, of course! It is one of the best kitchen items that I have ever bought. I can make one coffee, latte, or cappuccino at a time. It is perfect for my mornings as I run out the door, or for a relaxing evening. I have become quite the barista, making caramel macciatos, vanilla lattes, and peppermint mochas. And I barely visit Starbucks anymore!


9. This past year, I really put a lot of effort into "nesting." I decorated the dining room, living room, guest bedroom and bath, the third bathroom, kitchen, and I just finished the master bedroom and bathroom the other night. I even "started" the nursery early in the year, but I put that on hold for now. My decorating included lots of painting, decor, and bedding, and I have to say, I am very proud of myself. I had so much fun coming up with ideas/stealing ideas from friends, and then making them work in my house. I love it.


8. Over our Christmas Extravaganza 2010, I was able to meet my sweet, eight week old niece. She is absolutely gorgeous, barely cries, sleeps through the night, and is an incredible blessing and miracle. I fell in love with her in the short week that I was able to spend with her. I cried when I had to say goodbye.


7. In April we took our first vacation. Since our honeymoon. Crazy, I know, but in previous years, all of our "vacation" time has been used to visit family. So, that really isn't a vacation. Anyways, we went on a cruise down to Cozumel. We went with 3 other couples, our closest friends. It was so wonderful to be able to relax, eat, soak up the sun, and not worry about a thing! Some of the highlights were: eating ice cream whenever we wanted - even if it was midnight, conquering the iceberg, formal dinners, going on the water slide over and over, afternoon naps, and watching the drunks sing karaoke. It was an awesome vacation, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.


6. In the fall of 2010, my parents bought a house in Florida and made the move from Wisconsin to Florida. They live literally a mile around the corner from us. I love having them here, and they have fallen in love with the Florida lifestyle already. It is especially nice when mom invites us over for dinner a couple of nights a week! I love them dearly, and it is so good to have them close by.


5. In November, we took a road trip up to The Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. We rented a cabin literally in the mountains. It was awesome. We went with our best friends and had a great time. It was a well needed time of refreshment and encouragement. We hope to do it annually.


4. In July, I road-tripped to Atlanta with my best girl friends for the Jesus Culture Conference. I still to this day cannot fully put into words the experience I had there. The worship was intense, the speakers were challenging to say the least, and I learned a lot about myself. And I had some awesome quality girl time! The phrase that we use many times to describe the conference is "a wrecking ball."


3. And the number three spot goes to...relationships! As you all know, I am definitely a people person. I enjoy being around people, and I usually dread being alone (this doesn't work well with hubby's job requiring him to travel internationally, arrgghhh, which reminds me, he leaves next week for China.) Anyways, as I said before, I am a people person. But, I never really have had that many close friends. I had about 2-3 growing up, and in my early twenties, I only had one close girlfriend. I'm not sure why, but I'm just very guarded about who I become close to. I was the girl in high school that always had a ton of "friends," male and female, but not really any deep, close relationships. In 2009, God brought two amazing women into my life. Throughout 2010, our relationships have deepened to a level that I have never experienced before (outside of family). They both have my complete trust and honesty; I am able to be open and myself around them, never questioning if they will judge me. I go to them for prayer, advice, shoulders to cry on, and we have lots of laughter together. And it is no coincidence that we three are all going through similar journeys. God brought us together to go through these things together, to be burden bearers, to be encouragers, to love each other, to pray (really pray!) for each other, and to speak life into one another! He brought them into my life for a great purpose. I love you both so much.


2.  Six years! Woah!!! God brought hubby to me seven years ago, and in August, we celebrated our six year wedding anniversary. Our relationship has really grown over the past year, especially since moving to Florida. We ventured out on our own and really learned to lean on each other and we were able to have a lot of time together exploring our new state. This past year has been filled with challenges, as we fight our diagnosis. Hubby has been my strength, and his steadiness has helped to keep me stable. As we expectantly wait for what God has for us, we are drawn together and seek God. It's incredible to look back and see how through these trials this past year, our relationship has gotten so much stronger. I am so proud of Hubby for staying committed to his job and working every day with all of his heart, for being committed to the youth of our church and leading them into worship, for being dedicated to the worship team at our church, for being that quiet strength just when I need it, for putting up with my emotions and hormones, for diligently seeking God in all things, for being a loving son to his mother, for wanting children just as much as I want them, for being a spiritual leader, for being my best friend.


1. Brokenness...my word of the year for 2010. Do you remember this song? It was so popular when I was in high school...

Holiness, holiness is what I long for.
Holiness is what I need.
Holiness, holiness is what You
want from me.

So, take my heart and form it.
Take my mind and transform it.
Take my will and conform it.
To Yours, to Yours, oh, Lord.

Faithfulness, faithfulness is what I
long for.
Faithfulness is what I need.
Faithfulness, faithfulness is what
You want from me.

Brokenness, brokenness is what I
long for. 
Brokenness is what I need. 
Brokenness, brokenness is what
You want from me. 

I remember singing it out at the top of my lungs, it was one of my favorites. First, I sang of holiness, then faithfulness, and finally, brokenness. I sang just as strong for all three. But I really had no idea what it meant to truly be broken before the Lord. Until now. That song has been running through my head over the past few days, as I have been thinking about my brokenness. I stumbled across one definition of brokenness from a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss...

Brokenness is not a feeling or an emotion. Rather, it requires a choice, an act of the will. True brokenness is an on-going, constant way of life. True brokenness is a lifestyle -- a moment by moment lifestyle of agreeing with God about the true condition of my heart and life -- not as everyone else thinks it is but as He knows it to be.

Brokenness is a shattering of my self-will--the absolute surrender of my will to the will of God. It is saying 'Yes, Lord!'--no resistance, no chafing, no stubbornness--simply submitting myself to His direction and will in my life.

True brokenness is the breaking of my self-will, so that the life and spirit of the Lord Jesus may be released through me. It is my humble and obedient response to the conviction of God's Word and His Holy Spirit.

Brokenness is the stripping of my self-reliance...the softening of the soil of my heart. Believers with broken, contrite hearts are receptive and responsive to the Word. The broken, contrite heart is easily molded by the hand of God.

 There is no question in my mind that this past year has been the most challenging, most difficult year in my life. My blog is a testament to that - to all of the struggles and questions that I have been asking God. My faith has been "rocked" like never before. Its as if a wrecking ball has come into my life and torn down everything I thought I knew. I have questioned my purpose, my identity, who God really is. And I finally came to the realization that I really can't do it on my own. In my mind, I knew this, but I now fully know in my spirit and heart. I don't have the answers, I don't know why things have gone the way they have gone. But I have come to a place of brokenness - physically, mentally, and spiritually, and I have seen God work in my life like never before. And that gives me hope and expectation for 2011. So yes, brokenness is what I long for, what I need, and what He wants from me.