Battling Worry

Well, today I am 5 weeks and 3 days, I think. I have not had my "official" appointment yet where they tell me my actual due date and such, but my nurse told me over the phone last week how far along they thought I was, according to my calendar and blood work.

I am still so shocked, and excited, but I still feel like reality hasn't set in yet - that yes, I am actually pregnant! Christy and Amick told us that it will sink in when you see the baby on the ultrasound, hear its heartbeat, and start showing a little bit. I can't wait! I look at my belly every day, thinking that maybe there will be a bump, but none yet! I suppose it is too early. 

I have been feeling okay. I am completely exhausted and feel like I could sleep 12 hours a night! My boobs are incredibly sore, and I do feel a little bloated. I also have been craving a lot of salt - I read that is because your fluid volume increases so you need more sodium. I'm still waiting for the nausea to come...I know it's on its way!

My appointment is on March 29th, two weeks from tomorrow. And it can't come fast enough. We've been pretty busy, and we will be, but at times it seems like the time is just dragging. It always seems to be that way when I have to wait for something. 

I just want to be able to have the ultrasound and be told that everything is perfect, that the baby is perfect in every way, and that we have no reason to worry. 

Oh, worry. 

I feel like I shouldn't have to think these worrisome thoughts, and that I should be rejoicing and on cloud nine all day long. I just know too many people close to me who have been through horrible tragedies and wonder if it could be me as well. We've just been through so much to even get pregnant, and I fear that it could be taken away from us in an instant. I worry about every little pain and every little cramp. I worry that when I go to the bathroom, I might see red.

I am battling worry. 

Some days I feel like I have nothing to worry about, and other moments, my mind fills with fearful thoughts. 

But, I know that God has only good planned for us. 

Michael and I are praying over our baby, speaking God's promises over him, and we are claiming health over him. 

I know I will continue to win this battle, because I have God on my side. When worry and fearful thoughts creep in, I pray. I ask God for help, for blessings, for health, for wisdom. At times I plead, I beg. And every single time that I seek God, my worries are put down, and I am drenched in peace that only comes from HIM. 

I am learning what it means to completely put my trust in Him...

Once again, I am asking you to please pray with us and for us, especially as I battle worry.